“They grow so fast” is probably the number one thing I hear when people meet my baby, next to “he/she is so cute” and “does he/she sleep well?”. The conversations are all the same, but no matter how much I have to repeat myself, I adore talking about my amazing mini person. Statements like these are cliche, but they are also very true.
I remember the first time I saw my son, he was this oddly shaped ball no bigger than the tip of my finger on a screen. Over a period of nine months he was growing bigger everyday and I was dreaming of a baby. I spent 103 hours of labor and four hours of pushing followed by a cesarean to finally meet my son. Like all parents feel, he was perfect in everyway, weighing just over 7lbs. I expected him to be a blank canvas, someone who I got to shape. I expected his newborn state to last for months and months, just as my pregnancy had. I was very wrong. One of my biggest challenges as a new parent was discovering whom my son was. Even at 10 hours old, he was already showing us that he found comfort holding his hands close to his face, that he didn’t like pacifiers and being swaddled made him cry. My fiancé and I focused on a schedule, and just absorbing all that our son was. What we didn’t realize, was that everyday our son was changing. To us, he was still the same ball of love who entered our lives a short time ago. This small human, was so helpless he couldn’t lift his head, or see past our faces. He needed to learn everything, smell, touch, light, sounds and more. Than one day, none of his clothes fit, his diapers were too small and he was rolling over. How did this happen? I fell asleep one night to a baby who fit on my forearm and woke up to a crawling little beautiful monster, throwing his toys all over our living room floor who now eats off my plate and sometimes gestures “no” to me. Where did my newborn go?
They grow so fast” is the most true statement ever told. It has occurred to me when folding his clothes that are now much too small and putting them away in a keepsake box, that my job is to love, guide, support and teach my son all that I know of life, including independence. Meaning independence from his parents. Luckily, my son is only 8 months old, and my fiancé and I have many years ahead of us of “being right”, “being his super hero” and an incredible amount of first moments are still to come. I wish I could keep my baby little forever, but I cant. Instead we embrace every laugh, every step, every moment and share joy in his accomplishments and hope that time slows down, just a little.
-Jessica Lanois “Once a globe-trotter now an entrepreneur and full time Mom”