My fiancé and I recently had a mini escape and travelled to Toronto for two days. We dined, dressed up, saw both a Raptors and a Leafs game. We laughed, we had drinks, we walked and more importantly we talked. I never questioned the love I have more my fiancé, but I still found myself falling deeper for him during this time. We truly enjoyed one another’s company. I have come to realize that I had forgotten who my fiancé was outside of a Father and provider, I forgot who I was in his life, and I forgot that I could be more than a Mom. We had a chance to reconnect; I didn’t know that we needed to reconnect. I got so adjusted to seeing him before and after work, I had found myself content being a housewife and a caregiver. We had our roles and found comfort in our new life. This trip changed everything. It was as though something was missing and we never knew. It was hard being away from our 10-month pride and joy, we Face timed him often and played games over the phone, we kissed him goodnight and sent our love every opportunity we had. He was in good hands, and knowing this let us be ‘us’. I discovered a new side of parent life while on this trip, and that is your relationship with your partner is equally important.
Ten Months ago, I gave birth. Ten months ago I thought life, as I knew it was over. That I would never leave the house with feeling guilt, that I would never buy myself something nice again and the time I had with my fiancé would be spent at home struggling to stay awake as we watched a movie, or fighting to keep my focus while we played board games. Ten months ago I was utterly clueless. I am far from an expert today, and I still have so much to learn as any new parent would. But my most recent lesson learned in that it is okay to a woman, it is okay to take time to be with your boyfriend, fiancé, husband, girlfriend, wife, whomever! Life revealed a secret to me. And it was so simple, its “okay” and mandatory to stay connected to your partner. In life, there is a difference between existing and living, in a relationship there is a difference between being together and spending time together and like everything else, it requires work and balance. You need to take time for each other, and that is okay.