We all like to think we’re appealing in some way. When we can’t find a lasting relationship the first thing we wonder is “What’s wrong with me?” as if we are baffled that no one would want our perfect selves. Sorry, but no one’s perfect and even the hottest people alive get dumped, so what IS it that’s hurting your chances?
1. YOU’RE TOO NICE
Being a kind, friendly, loving person should be your ultimate goal in life but when it comes to dating sometimes you need to hold back a bit. This doesn’t mean you should start being a total b*tch but when you’re interested in someone you need to show them you have a backbone. A lot of people get turned off when someone they’ve just started seeing is always at their beck and call, never says no, or is always at their service. They may like the attention at first but it’ll get annoying after a while. When you stop being a push over you’ll notice people will stop…pushing you over. They will stop looking you over too.
2. YOU GET TOO SERIOUS TOO FAST
Easy does it in the dating realm–and no, not easy in the bedroom. Let yourself get to know the people you’re dating before you start rushing ahead and making wedding plans. If you’ve only been on a couple of dates with someone, ask yourself why you’re so eager to give it a label. Why is it that you want to call him your boyfriend, before you even know his last name? Stop looking for a “boyfriend” or picking out wedding venues and instead just get to know the guy. If you calm down and stop rushing ahead of yourself, you won’t stress yourself out if nothing evolves. You also won’t scare the guy away.
3. YOU DON’T LAUGH ENOUGH
Laughter is amazing. We should all strive to laugh more and smile more. If you find you’ve been taking everything a bit too seriously these days, it might be time to loosen up a bit. No one likes a Debbie Downer, especially not on a date. Maybe you’re just a bit shy, or maybe you just don’t have a strong sense of humour, that’s okay. You just need to start finding your smiles by appreciating the little things in life. People are attracted to happy people and if you’re wasting your dating life scowling and taking your dates too seriously, it’s no wonder nothing has been lasting.
4. YOU’RE TOO BUSY
If you don’t have a second of free time for yourself, how do you expect to date someone? Of course it’s great to stay busy, but if you’re all consumed by other things you aren’t really in the mind frame to be dating. Many people have it all, it’s not hard. You just need to learn to figure out if dating is really do-able right now. No one wants to constantly compete for your time so figure out your priorities. If settling down with someone is one of them, it’s time to give a little love to yourself and make room for other people.
5. YOU TRY TO CHANGE PEOPLE
If you’ve only been on a few dates with someone, why on earth are you trying to break their walls down or change their taste in music? If someone seems a little closed off, you don’t need to try to fix them. You are not Dr. Phil. If someone likes the Rolling Stones and you can’t stand them, you are not allowed to try to change that. The early stages of dating are about getting to know someone, their likes and dislikes. Stop trying to mold the perfect person. All you’re doing is infuriating the one you’re dating because you are sending out the message that who they are isn’t good enough for you. Once they realize this and if they have any self worth, they’ll be outta that relationship quicker than Jumpin’ Jack Flash.
Of course, these are not the only reasons why people may keep breaking up with you. There are often many things that factor in when someone decides to nix a relationship but the above are just a common few. In the end, don’t let being dumped get you down. If you are a good person, with good morals, then eventually the right person will come along. Stay patient and never give up hope.
Shannon Ferguson is a writer who recently returned to her roots in Cornwall. With degrees in Communications, Psychology, and Broadcast Journalism, Shannon created her successful blog, The Love Hawk, and is a contributing writer for many websites including The Huffington Post and Elite Daily. View her blog at www.thelovehawk.com, like her page on Facebook and follow her on Twitter @TheLoveHawk. and be sure to listen to my online radio show “The Love Hawk” every Tuesday at 6pm at www.dunet.ca