Even though divorces are definitely very hard, they don’t necessarily need to be tragic or hostile. Every transition period bears its own trials and finding your own way to push through them may result in an error here and there, but it is important to understand them. It is important to introspect and have guidance and purpose, and in the end, you will pull through. It will get better.
In this article, we are going to try and help you as much as possible when it comes to the emotional burden caused by a divorce.
Allow Yourself To Grieve
It’s only natural to go through the phase of grieving when it comes to divorce. In a sense, you have just lost something, a big part of your life in fact. The plans for the future that you have had now must change, as well as your present. And it’s perfectly okay to be sad about that. Acknowledge what you have lost. Further coping mechanisms will grow from acceptance. Also, the fact that something is gone or lost doesn’t by any means negate the beautiful moments and memories that it has brought you in the past. It just means that in the future, new memories are going to come from something else, so, try to focus on that as well.
Talk to Other People
Going through sadness and grieving is exponentially harder if you keep it to yourself. While there is a certain pressure from society that we live in that we have to be put together and move on and concentrate on the other important things, the reality is that we all have internal struggles, and disregarding them only makes everyday life harder. Sharing your struggles with the people you trust, even if they don’t have a way to help you at that moment, means that at least, you aren’t going through it alone. There is no reason for you to go through this alone.
Consider Going to a Therapist
You can always find a good therapist, they are professionals and can provide you with great coping mechanisms in order to feel better and be constructive on your path to emotional recovery.
Find An Experienced Divorce Attorney
In order to be able to move on emotionally, it’s very important to get closure legally. As long as the legal process is still going, it’s very hard to put the divorce behind you and to start healing. As experts from https://ephraimlaw.com/uncontested-divorce-in-virginia/ explain, if it’s possible, the easiest and fastest way to get the legal part done is by having an uncontested divorce. This way, you will be able to have that closure after just about one to three weeks, without having to spend any time in lawyers’ offices.
Choose to Move Forward
The acceptance of the fact that what is done is done allows you to choose to move forward. And yes, it is a choice, not something that will come naturally (or at least won’t come as fast). Everyone has their own pace and needs time in order to get to the point when they will be ready to choose and actively work on moving forward. So, what can you do in order to do so?
Put Things Away
This can be very hard since everything around you reminds you of something connected to the person that you have divorced. But, it can be very healing as well. Don’t block out the memories, allow yourself to experience them.
Doing this while storing the things into boxes is a great way to get closure since the act of “storing the memories into boxes” is a powerful way to materialize the process that is going on in your head.
Be Kind To Yourself
Try and not let negative feelings dictate your overall life. When you recognize the destructive patterns of thinking that occur in your head, try to pinpoint them and categorize them as such. They are not there to help you, so don’t allow them to have such a big say in your everyday life. Try and turn them into positive thoughts. For instance, if you happen to think about something like: “Such a big portion of my life was ultimately meaningless.”, try and convert that into “This whole process has taught me so much about what I do and don’t want in my life. I will use this knowledge to live happier and make decisions that will impact my life in a positive way, not allowing the past to dictate everything beautiful that is waiting for me on the other side!”
Even though this can be pretty hard to accomplish in the beginning, actively combating negative thoughts and being kinder to yourself will not only help you to ease the emotional burden of divorce, but it will greatly impact the overall quality of your life. A lot of new, exciting, and beautiful things await you. It will get better, we promise.
The Seeker Newspaper is located at 327 Second Street E., Cornwall, ON K6H 1Y8 -- All rights reserved The Seeker does not accept responsibility for errors, misprints or inaccuracies published within. The opinions and statements of our columnists are not to be presumed as the statements and opinions of The Seeker, and should not substitute professional or medical advice.
ISSN 2562-1750 (Print) ISSN 2562-1769 (Online)