In a world where every communication tool promises to bring us closer, why do we feel more distant than ever?
Social media platforms, messaging apps, and endless streams of online content have reshaped how we interact, creating an peculiar paradox: the more we “connect,” the lonelier we become.
We live in constant exposure. The need to be seen, liked, and acknowledged by the world has taken precedence over genuine, meaningful connections. We’re all guilty of it, to some level or another.
We chase the “likes” and the “follows” and measure our worth in “comments” and “shares” from strangers, while the people who truly matter – our family, our friends, our neighbors – are often left waiting on the sidelines. Even when we are present, we aren’t really present. Our phones are attached to our hands, constantly following us. We’re too busy chasing something fleeting and superficial: validation from people we’ll never meet, approval from audiences that won’t remember us. A quick message, a shared meme, a thumbs up or a heart emoji has replaced real conversations. These digital interactions might feel like connection, but they’re a poor substitute for the warmth of sitting across from someone, hearing their voice, and truly listening.
And it’s a vicious circle. When we sit in the same room as our loved ones, who are scrolling on their phones instead of sharing our lives, we feel alone. It’s not a pleasant feeling, so our urge is to squash it—and so we end up doing the same. You know? If you can’t beat them, join them? We may be physically present, but emotionally, we’re elsewhere – lost in the glow of a screen. We crave the attention of the online world but fail to give our time and energy to those who are right in front of us. As a result, many of us feel invisible in our own homes, overlooked in our closest relationships.
Here’s the bitter truth: those strangers online? They don’t really matter. They don’t see the fullness of who we are. They’re not there to celebrate our victories or comfort us in our struggles. Yet, we invest more time curating a post for them than we do checking in on our parents, siblings, or best friends. Over time, this neglect deepens our loneliness, creating a void that no amount of social media engagement can fill.
And we’re all hypocrites! We carefully craft posts to showcase our achievements, share wise advice, or highlight the best parts of our lives, all while hiding our flaws and addictions behind a keyboard. We’re not really showing who we are; we’re showing who we wish we were. Social media has become a stage, and we are its actors, performing for an audience of strangers while the truth of our struggles, insecurities, and imperfections remains tucked away, unseen and unspoken. This makes it easy for us to ignore our flaws, to avoid confronting the areas we need to work on, because over time, we begin to see ourselves as the character we’ve created. We cling to that polished version of ourselves, cozied up in our narcissistic bubbles, refusing to look beyond the illusion.
So, how do we change this? How do we break free from the cycle of superficial interactions and reclaim the relationships that matter most? We make an effort!
- Be Present: Put down the phone. Turn off the notifications. When you’re with your family or friends, be with them fully. Listen, engage, and give them your undivided attention. If you can—and you can—leave the phone at home, even.
- Prioritize Real Conversations: Call instead of texting. Meet face-to-face whenever possible. Share your thoughts and feelings openly, and invite others to do the same.
- Set Boundaries with Technology: Limit your time on social media. Schedule “digital detox” periods where you disconnect and focus on the world around you.
- Reconnect with Your Values: Reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it the fleeting approval of strangers, or the deep bonds with the people who love and support you?
If you are old enough, you remember Christmases before mobile devices. Weren’t they the best? We don’t need more followers or viral moments to feel fulfilled. What we need is each other. Let’s start looking up from our screens and into the eyes of those around us. Let’s remember the power of a shared laugh, a heartfelt conversation, and the simple act of being present.
I can’t force anybody to put down they phones or stop posting on social media. I can only control my own consumption. So in 2025, I will.
Because in the end, let’s face it. Who really wants to be alone with their phone on their deathbed?