I Don’t know What’s Worse—The City’s Omission or the Excuses that Followed?

At the risk of being labelled a feminist, here is a message; and it’s an important one.

When the City of Cornwall released its latest promotional video, which was a collaboration between The City and the Counties, something was missing, . Or rather, someone—women. Not a single woman appeared in its depiction of our community. Note that there were not a lot of minorities either, but that’s another story.

When this was pointed out, the response was even more telling than the omission itself. Deflections. Justifications. The classic,“It wasn’t intentional.”

But here’s the question we should be asking: What’s worse—the fact that women were left out, or the way people reacted when we dared to name it?

The oversight was disappointing, but the backlash was revealing. It showed how quickly women are expected to swallow invisibility with a smile, how often our voices are treated as an inconvenience rather than a necessity.

After I wrote about it, the comments flowing on social media were not kind. I had several people, men and women, mansplain to me why I shouldn’t be feeling the way I felt about it. After all, it was a positive story, meant to unite us all!

The Myth of “Good Intentions”

Let’s stop pretending that intent erases impact. Institutions—whether governments, corporations, or media—don’t accidentally exclude half the population. These choices reflect subconscious biases so ingrained they don’t even register as choices. When called out, the response is rarely accountability—it’s defensiveness. It’s empty promises of ‘We’ll do better next time.’ But how many ‘next times’ must we endure before real change happens?

The truth is, women have spent centuries waiting for systems to recognize our value. Waiting for permission to speak, to lead, to take up space. And here’s what we’ve learned: No one gives you power. You take it.

The Limits of Institutional Validation

I used to believe that if we just pointed out inequality clearly enough, if we provided enough data, if we asked nicely, those in charge would finally see us. But time and again, we’re reminded: Systems don’t change because they’re asked. They change because they’re forced to.

Relying on institutions to “grant” us representation is a losing strategy. They’ll pat themselves on the back for one inclusive campaign while erasing us in the next. They’ll celebrate International Women’s Day with a hashtag while ignoring the women in their own backyards.

So why keep waiting for them to catch up?

The Real Work Happens Outside Their Systems

History’s most transformative movements weren’t led by committees or corporate task forces. They were built by people who refused to wait for permission. Women’s empowerment is no different.

• We don’t need the city’s video to prove our worth. We prove it every day—running businesses, raising families, holding communities together.
• We don’t need organizations to “give” us a platform. We create our own. We write. We speak. We film. We fund each other.
• We don’t need approval to celebrate ourselves. We honor our achievements loudly, because no one else will do it for us.

The Choice We Face

So what’s worse—the erasure or the excuses?

The erasure is frustrating, but predictable. The excuses? They’re the real poison. They reinforce the idea that women’s exclusion is an oops rather than a pattern. That our demand for visibility is an overreaction rather than a basic right.

But here’s the good news: We don’t have to accept either.

We can stop waiting for institutions to see us and start seeing ourselves. We can stop asking for a seat at their table and start building our own. We can stop hoping they’ll share the mic and start amplifying each other.

This Is How Change Actually Happens

Real progress isn’t handed down—it’s fought for, claimed, and taken. It happens when women stop debating whether we deserve space and start occupying it. When we stop tempering our voices to make others comfortable and start speaking in the volume we’ve always deserved.

So let’s stop asking,“Why weren’t we included?” and start declaring,“We’re here, and we won’t be ignored.”

The city’s video didn’t show women. Fine. But we don’t need their camera to prove we exist. We’ll write our own stories, film our own narratives, and lift each other up—not because they allowed it, but because we decided to.

Join us in celebrating the remarkable women shaping our community. Each month, The Seeker will spotlight three extraordinary local leaders, changemakers, and unsung heroes. While their bios may be brief, their stories will leave you inspired – and eager to know more about the incredible women moving our region forward.

A note: credit where it’s due. Justin Towndale stepped up and owned up to his role in this mess. But I offer no praise; that’s how accountability should work. Go Sarah!