The Bond
Defined as the foundation of youth, an auntie is the epitome of the French Canadian experience. Generous with their time, resources and energy, they believe in us no matter what we do. Their hugs are legendary.
From the time he could hold a hammer, Ernest Proulx was a carpenter. As a boy growing up in Alexandria, Ontario, he could play the harmonica. Easily snuck in a pocket, the instrument played simple – but difficult to master as it required great concentration and patience.
From the same farming community, Ernest’s wife Georgette (nee Carriere) was a seamstress whose hard sought workmanship making the family’s clothing, made herself a name she would be proud of. A serious, well-organized person, Georgette had a strong social connection.
In 1952, just days before Christmas, the couple suffered the tragic loss of their three children in a house fire. The only reason Georgette survived at all was due to Ernest’s efforts to throw her out the front window. Burns covering her arms and neck were a life-long reminder of the tragedy.
Ironically, a local man whom Ernest had built two bungalows with, offered to mortgage one to the couple. With mere pocket change, people in the community gave what they could, with just a few donations above $10.
On autopilot; the couple rebuilt their family over the next 9 years, but were never the same, emotionally.
When their youngest, Carole, was two, Georgette began working as a cook and caterer in area restaurants but could not function in any capacity, otherwise. The oldest children began looking after the younger ones. Carole’s sister Francine became like her real mother.
Everyone left home early, leaving Carole to fend for herself. Sometimes Georgette would visit the little old ladies across the street and clean their homes at the same time. Visibly refreshed from these visits, when Carole was old enough, she too would cross the street and go help the ladies with their housekeeping.
Intuitive and childlike in their presence, Carole blossomed. Guided by an inner voice, she became a caregiver – sometimes to exhaustion; serving others before herself. When Carole turned 18, she moved in with her boyfriend Denis, but within 3 years found herself in a dark place, despite her brother’s wives taking her under their wing, filling the empty spaces.
On the suggestion of a friend, Carole decided to join a 12 Step recovery group.
In 2010, Francine suggested Carole become a PSW. After talking it over with Denis, Carole set new goals, took courses and began working at Parisien Manor. In seeing the room through the resident’s eyes, Carole found her calling. Seeming to know what everyone needed before being asked, she would fix their hair, tie their shoes, plump pillows or close the window blind.
During the early years of her recovery, Carole began reading more into the personal stories. In non-verbal cues picked up from her lost childhood watching her parents grieve in real time, Carole brought meaning to moments in the symbolic emotion of her bear hugs. Out of the darkness, Carole found compassion for her parents.
16 days before her 57th birthday, Carole fell in her home. Due to a winter storm, she was prevented from getting to the hospital for two days. Denis was unable to attend with her, due to Covid. Carole would later learn that breaking her nose- saved her life as it took the brunt of the hit. During two days at home on the couch, she made a sort of sling for her broken wrist, right shoulder and ribs, which felt shattered.
This past spring, Carole got a little yellow preemie kitten from Pawportunity. The cat rescue had taken in the tiny’s mother along with her other babies to boost them up before adoptions, but before that happened, the bond with Louis was set. Climbing up under her chin, his snuggles melted Carole’s heart.
Believing that god has been with her, all her life, Carole sticks to what she knows because of the stories. Through the generations of nieces to nephews with lived experience of Carole’s spirit, to actions that may have never transpired without perseverance, we find the young girl and woman we know today.
The brightest day, saw Carole put herself first among those she loved, on the steps of Saint Felix Church on her wedding day. As someone humble enough to admit they’re still afraid of the dark, comes a flash of metal as it shines towards the light. If we’re very lucky and more than a little blessed, Carole may play us a solo.
Copyright © Lisa Gray Nov. 2024
