The sweetness of doing nothing
As a teenager, Wanda Bender worked at Mary’s Restaurant in Monkland, Ontario. It was an old place with plenty of charm where local hob-knobbers caught up on the everyday.
From her 12th to 19th years, Wanda belonged to the Glengarry Pipe Band. With a keen ear, she learned the instrument inside out. Even though it was almost too big for her tiny frame, like everything else in her young life: she made it work all the way to Scotland, for the big Tattoo.
In Balinese mythology, the turtle is a sacred animal. Endangered to near extinction, the island’s 6 species bring balance to our emotional depths. Through their longevity and protective cover, we can embrace our energy and trust our intuition.
Despite travel magazines fascination with its turquoise water, plastic bags are banned in Bali. On populated beaches, residents work to repurpose what plastic that washes ashore, into what else – but baby turtles.
When she was 43 years old, Wanda travelled to Bali with some girlfriends to a 21 day Yoga retreat. When she got off the airplane all you could smell were flowers.
Feeling like Julia Roberts, Bali was other-worldly. Dispensed by island healers and kindhearted Guru’s, Wanda experienced the sweetness of doing nothing. She went in the pool, reclined within the women’s embraces and allowed others to help her surrender to love. In a beautiful exchange, Wanda let go of the past.
Once back on Canadian soil, she became passionate within the art scene. Gathering friends for a Drum Circle, Wanda left her secretarial job at Academy of Learning and opened her first shop in Alexandria, selling crystals, jewelry and oracle cards. An amazingly patient teacher, guiding others was second nature to her. Wanda’s online business, Dragonfly with me was created in her garage.
As Covid burrowed itself in everyone’s lives, Wanda could not keep up with her online business and was forced to close the shop. Like many others, she was overwhelmed and suffered a breakdown.
As Henry David Thoreau in Walden before us, said – (I) she went into the Wood to live a deliberate life, supported by no-one.
After a time, Wanda’s parents moved her into a small Chalet on the grounds of their property.
Large multigenerational families living outside city limits, like the Bender Road in Monkland, often have folklore attached to them. Born to a family of barn builders including area farmers and neighbours, Keith Bender is a certified journey-leveled carpenter. With legacy beyond beams and ample experience, he is what country folk call a Jack of all trades.
Among the tree lined surroundings of home, grows the oasis of Charlotte (Singleton) Bender whose compassion serving others, casts a soft glow. A sewer popular for creating and showing quilts; her ability to feed and bring large groups of people together, is exceptional.
After living at her parents for three months, Wanda found support through the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) https://cmha-east.on.ca/index.php/en/ and the loving, generous people of the Starbright Centre.
https://cmha-east.on.ca/index.php/en/
peer-support-centers/starbright
Going to nature and sitting by the water one day, Wanda found some Dragonfly people. With open arms, they spoke to her in a sing-song voice of open windows and coloured dreams. Moving away from perfectionism and living simply, Wanda got a small apartment and rescued a young cat. Anyone who saves an animal’s life is a friend of mine.
In the years since, Wanda’s spiritual energy has returned to its soul’s purpose. Showing her collection of pieces at area art shows and occasionally at the Modern Primitive store in Cornwall Square, many wouldn’t recognize the resilience of another. Starting fresh, over and over is a fearless act. In the selfless concern of helping others, putting ones story out there defines altruism. In this, friendship holds no boundaries.
As a child, consider this creature wanting to get all the input they could. Quick learners and visionaries: they cannot sit still. With heart wide open, they surround themselves with other eclectics. A resourceful, evolving character, this creature sits at my table every Friday like clockwork. In the time it takes the other two women to create one piece, Wanda has created at least 5. The perfect guest, she moves about my kitchen with ease. Oh, please never stop baking.
Copyright © January 2025
