Valentine’s day is always a big money making holiday. Husbands buy wives flowers and chocolates, wives invest in some lacy lingerie and the two love birds go out together for a nice fancy dinner, chirping their love for one another…
But to me, this is the easy way out.
Love isn’t a one day a year sort of thing. Love is expressed every day, through little things. It can be as simple as a smile or a nudge or as a coffee in bed. It can be as elaborate as a dinner out or as an short overnight stay. Whatever it is, it is IMPORTANT to make a conscious effort daily to spend time with one another.
However, at times, life takes over and we lose sight of the people we love, especially our spouses. They become engulfed by the clouds of routine and swallowed by the boredom of mundane daily tasks. They get hidden behind the financial pressures, the cries from the kids, the demands of work or school.
This is why this valentine’s day, instead of giving each other material gifts which last little to no longer than a day, my husband and I are taking the love challenge. We gave each other the gift of committing to 30 days of daily love. For 30 days, no exceptions, we will set aside at least an hour to love one another, be intimate and truly deeply reconnect.
Now intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means. It could be as simple as holding each other’s hands or look into into each other’s eyes, but it has to be an hour of one on one, uninterrupted time, free of disctractions, where you just go back to counting the ways your mate is simply perfect for you. Remove the clouds blocking your vision and see why you fell in love in the first place. Appreciate Him. Admire how the years have turned him into who he is today. Remember the story behind each wrinkle, behind each gray hair…
We only live once. We are physical beings and as such, we need to be physically connected to our partners. I know that I can’t survive very long without feeling my soul intertwined with his, and the only way this gets truly achieved, for me anyway, is through physical contact.
Why do we chose to spend life running after things that we won’t remember on our death bed? Why do we spend so much time on trivial things instead of investing in the relationships right in front of us? What will it matter if we spend one less hour a day tending to our businesses or our homes? Time to turn off the phone and all the social media interactions that comes with it… Time to leave the dishes in the sink and retreat to the bedroom!
As I am writing this, we are on day 5 of our love challenge and I have deeply fallen in love with my husband all over again. I feel loved, cherished, wanted, valued, appreciated. I realise now how withdrawn I had been with him, yet was blaming him of the same. We women tend to want our men to know our every want and need, but our husbands are not mind readers. Learn to speak your desires. And mostly, realize that if you change YOUR actions, you will get a totally different REACTION. If we hug more, nag less, everyone will be happier!
The challenge was HIS idea by the way… Don’t I have the best hubby?