You can read PART 1 here and PART 3 here
Sam, a 26-year-old trans man, and his family have faced repeated harassment for displaying a Pride flag outside their home. During the Covid pandemic, they decorated their house with Pride decorations for Pride Month, which led to them being targeted multiple times. Initially, the attacks were limited to their flag being torn down, but the vandalism escalated significantly this summer.
Their experience is shared through a series of questions answered by Sam and his mother Amy. Please note that some quotes have been abbreviated for clarity (…). Names have been changed to protect their anonymity against potential future harassment.
Louise to Sam: Are you afraid now, and if so, of what?
Sam: “At this point, I think I’m most anxious about the confrontation that might occur if one of us catches them in the act…I’m also afraid that they won’t face any consequences for terrorizing my family. I have 2 younger siblings, one in their early teens and one in their late teens. How am I supposed to know how far these people will go? … This is what hate teaches. We live in a cul de sac, so the thought of it either being someone who lives nearby or someone specifically coming to our neighbourhood just to target us is pretty unnerving.”
Louise to Amy: Are you now afraid to fly your pride flag?
Amy: “Of course. But we won’t stop. That’s what they want. We keep fighting. I tell Sam, we keep marching on.”
Louise to Sam: Do these acts of hate impact your sense of identity and self-acceptance? If so, how?
Sam: “These acts are just another cruel reminder that I live in a world where queer people are still demonized in society and that I will likely have to deal with homophobia and transphobia for the rest of my life. It’s especially hard not to let the increasing surge of trans panic get me down. I wake up every day to people on social media or the news spreading lies about us, talking about how much they hate us or are terrified of us, wanting to take our rights away. I’ve mostly only had to deal with it online until now. And with the intersectionality of being a gay trans man, I even face hatred and ignorance from other people in my community. Not all gay people are supportive of trans rights. It can be really overwhelming sometimes.”
Louise: What steps have you taken to protect your home and your family?
Amy: “Ordering more cameras and lights. My husband makes sure to drive Sam to work every night now, as he leaves at dark for his overnight shift and I’m worried about him walking and bussing alone in the dark. And as stated before, I won’t leave my 14-year-old home alone anymore. And I am even a little worried about leaving the house unattended right now.”
Louise: Are you afraid now, and if so, of what?
Amy: “Since the day I found out my son is trans and gay, I have been afraid for him. I am very aware of the hatred out there, and every time he leaves me to go to a concert out of town or anywhere without us, I hope and pray he will be safe from the haters. I am also afraid if this will continue, and if it will get worse, and how worse. I can’t even go there..”
Louise to Sam: What would you like to say to the people committing these acts of hate?
Sam: “You might think this is funny or cool, or that all you’re doing is tearing down a flag, but this says a lot more about you than it does about us. This ignorant, hateful behaviour is pathetic and embarrassing, especially in 2024. It’s so much easier to choose to be kind and have empathy. You aren’t getting hurt by seeing a rainbow in our yard. In fact, solely in response to my existence as a fellow human being, you have chosen to trespass, do over $100 in property damage, steal, target my family home, and commit a hate crime.”
Louise to Sam: What message do you have for others in the 2SLGBTQ+ community who might be facing similar challenges?
Sam: “You aren’t alone. We stand with you. Just remember that you’re stronger than any bigot could ever even dream of being.”
Louise to Sam: What kind of support do you think is most helpful for someone in your situation?
Sam: “… Be vocal about your support. I think it’s important to explicitly express when you think something is wrong and that you don’t want to see it happening in your community. Say that you stand with us rather than turning a blind eye.”
Louise: What message do you think these hate crimes send about the state of acceptance in our town (and country)?
Amy: “They do not accept. A large part of this community lacks love and empathy for others. They fear what they don’t understand and they don’t want to understand. And they are willing to go to any extent, even if it could ruin their own life by committing hate crimes.”
Louise: What changes/actions would you like to see in the community, from local authorities, and from our politicians to address hate crimes?
Amy: “More support for the 2SLGBTQ+ community and Diversity Cornwall. More involvement in the events to help them educate and guide. The police and local politicians would also benefit from some education on all this. How to handle hate crimes and make their 2SLGBTQ+ citizens feel safer. How to treat them like the human beings they are. So they understand trans rights are human rights. If my straight, cis neighbor had called the police that night for vandalism and there was no PRIDE flag involved, would they have done more? You wonder..”
Sam: “I really want the police to put out a statement to the community about the weight of committing a hate crime, the severity of it and that it won’t go without consequences. I want people to know that this will not be tolerated. It feels super disingenuous to me to see the police at pride one week, and then for them to not take any action to protect queer people in the community when they are being attacked not even a couple weeks later. It would be nice for any local politicians or leaders who claim to be supportive of the 2SLGBTQ+ community to speak out about this as well. Everyone should be appalled by this and doing what they can to curb this type of behaviour.”
Do you believe that these hate crimes and overall intolerance are increasing, and if so, why?
Amy: “I definitely know we are talking about it more, and more is being reported but we don’t even know half of what’s going on. How many victims of hate crimes say nothing? it does feel to me, like it’s getting worse. But I’ve really had my eye on things for the last few years. I believe a lot is to blame on the rhetoric and hateful comments from politicians and rich people/celebrities. Mostly the Republican and Conservative parties in both the US and here in Canada. I always thought Canada was in such a better place than the US when it came to homophobia and transphobia, but now I am not sure. You see it all over our communities, social media groups, and even on Diversity Cornwall posts. It’s like they are literally searching for where they can spread their hate, intolerance, and bigotry. I’m just so tired of it all.”
About the Author
I could not find part 3 but I do want to say that I hope the local police, Mayor and all city councilors denounce hate crimes. I have heard of another possible hate crime in Cornwall. Also that parents talk to their children that there is no place for this in our city.
If you don’t understand LGBTQ+, it’s none of your business in the first place. The Pride Flag is a happy flag, full of colors, How can anyone be triggered by a rainbow is beyond me