We hope you Enjoy this 2 columns in One …
Last time, I wrote about the other side. The place we go to when we leave this physical world. Now I’d like to discuss this side, the life we get to live here and now.
First of all, let’s take religion out of the equation. We know there is a loving force that most call ‘God’ while others may use other titles. It doesn’t matter if you call it The Universe, or even The Force. (from Star Wars) It also doesn’t matter if you believe it is a persona ‘out there’ or a part of yourself, as a creator who is a piece of divinity.
What matters is this. You were born. Now, babies don’t magically get the breath of life from their mother. All they get are the cells. The DNA. The stuff of physical life. The rest is a miracle, just as an opening acorn turning into a mighty oak tree is a miracle. Consider that the acorn weighs 4 or 5 grams and in time, the Oak tree will weigh up to 15 tons, and consist of 13 to 20 cubic meters of wood. Did the little acorn make all of this wood? Did 15 cubic meters of soil get converted to the wood that makes up the tree? The answer to both questions is no. The wood was added to the earth’s mass without depleting the soil or the air. Another miracle. Humankind has not been able to create life. We can transplant, inseminate, and even clone life, but we can’t make it. Life itself must come from the other side.
So an unborn baby gets its life from the other side, and often, very young children can remember events from a past life, right down to some very uncanny details. People who have near-death-experiences may have been pronounced dead for an hour, yet can remember things that happened during that hour when their spirit floated above their body, before it was drawn back in when they were resuscitated.
Now, some people believe life ends when a physical life ends. The majority of people believe in some form of life after death though. Over time, we have read about some horrendous beliefs, such as sacrificing people to appease the volcano god, or similar horrors. Bottom line which I think most of us can agree on: Life continues after physical death.
So, finally getting to ‘this side’. What can we do to ensure we are on the right path, the higher path if you will? It’s pretty simple really. Follow your quiet inner voice. Be aware that your ego is real and will talk to you. When you get angry, jealous or anything else that seems ego-driven, just say to yourself, ‘oh, that’s only my ego, not me’ and it will silence the negativity. You are spirit. You are driving around in a human body for a time. You, as a spirit, will live on. You are eternal. This side may look like the wrong side of a tapestry, but once you are on the other side, you will see the beautiful work of art your life is. With a little effort, you might see that while on this side. God is spirit, and so are you and everything that lives. Take comfort in that.
What Is Love?
There are different kinds of love, such as brotherly love, romantic love, love of God or country. In this article I will be discussing the love between two people.
To start, let’s eliminate a few examples of what is NOT love. “Oh my – just look at him/her – who wouldn’t be in love? I want him/her so much!” This is desire or lust, the deep wanting of another person. It is not love. “I can’t stand the thought of her/him talking with another man/woman. If I see him/her hanging out with good looking people, I’ll have to put my foot down. I want them to be mine, and only mine”. This is also not love. It is jealousy, control and a sense of ownership. “As long as they bring in their share of the money, I don’t really care what else they do. We have an open relationship”. This is not love. It is a financial contract. “I would do anything for them, even if I had to stop seeing my family or even lose my own life”. This is not love. It is a subservient, self-loathing need to be controlled, sometimes permitting abuse or damaging behaviour from the other person. “I’m so happy I’m in love again, and not alone any more”. This is probably not love either, but a need to have companionship. Some people will settle for someone clearly not right for them, just to escape the feeling of ‘having nobody’.
But I still haven’t answered the question of what love actually is. To start, love always puts the other person ahead of ourself, but does it without reducing our self-worth in any way, because our partner will want to put US ahead of themselves. If each person gives all, the relationship is in balance, and each person feels like the apple of their partner’s eye. I remember an old story about a young man who had a gold pocket watch, but no chain to fasten it to his pocket. His young wife had beautiful long hair and she took pride in how nice it looked and knew her husband loved it too. The young man decided to sell his pocket watch in order to buy his wife some ivory combs that she could keep in her hair. On Christmas morning, they gathered in the living room, and the man was shocked to see that his wife had short hair. There were just two gifts under the tree that year, and so she opened hers first to find the combs which she no longer could use. He opened his gift to find the chain he had wanted for his pocket watch. She had sold her hair to buy the chain, and he had sold his watch to buy the combs. Knowing the sacrifice each had made, they embraced and felt the love each other had.
So love should include sacrifice if it means that we can give the other something that they want. Ideally, both people would feel the same about the other, and make similar sacrifices. They should have a deep, uncompromising fondness for one another, and the natural course will be for it to include physical attraction and desire. And if they should ever decide to move on, you’d still only wish them the best, as you also move on. How do we get to this point? We have to first love ourselves. That means accepting our mistakes, recognizing our strengths, and the ultimate test: being happy to be alone. That’s right. If we can love ourself first, we send a signal that we are worth loving, and we therefore become more attractive. If we love our own company, so will others. The right person sees who we are and we make a choice based on our own desires for a mate, and not on shallow needs or wants. This is the kind of love that can last a lifetime.
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