Dear Bill Maher: A Polite Northern Rebuttal to Blaming Canadian Policies for America’s Political Nightmare

Well, Bill, as your friendly neighbor from the north, it seems necessary to offer some hearty Canadian perspective on your latest op-ed tour de force. Let’s unwrap this bundled assortment of stats and quips, starting with the pollution statistics you’ve aired for dramatic effect.

You pointed out that 14 out of the 15 North American cities with the worst air pollution are in Canada. Quite the statement, but let’s unpack it a bit. Yes, several Canadian cities have suffered poor air quality recently, but without mentioning forest fires, this feels a bit like telling a story halfway through. These fires, considerably worsened by global warming —a topic deserving more than a mere mention—are significant contributors to our spikes in air pollution. And, let me remind you where a good chunk of that climate change is coming from. The U.S. isn’t just a bystander in the global climate arena; it’s a leading performer.

To put it in perspective, the United States consistently, even more so than Canada, ranks among the top in global carbon emissions. Although it represents about 4% of the world’s population, it contributes to nearly 15% of the total global CO2 emissions, second only to China (with its much larger population). At least, Canada is trying to reduce its Carbon Footprint.

Now, addressing your broader narrative about Canada’s liberal policies leading us down a supposedly disastrous path—well, Bill, it’s an interesting take, to say the least. The way you frame our economic and health care challenges suggests a sort of schadenfreude that feels a bit misplaced. Indeed, we have our issues—housing crises and healthcare delays aren’t myths. But these are nuanced issues that require more than an isolated data point to understand fully.

Our housing crisis, for example, has more to do with greed than anything else. In the hopes of increasing the bottom line, many affordable units have been turned into Airbnbs. Foreign corporations have swooped in and purchased multi-family units and raised rents. The solution does not lie in closing borders to immigration, but in implementing stronger regulations!

Canada does spend a hefty sum on healthcare, and yep, snagging primary care isn’t exactly a breeze these days. But don’t omit to mention that when Canada hit rock bottom in the rankings, it was only among those high-minded countries with universal healthcare. Oh, and just a tiny detail: while 15% of Canadians are scrambling to find a regular doctor, in the U.S., a staggering 30% are in the same boat. How’s that for perspective?

Your portrayal of Canada as this dystopian endpoint of liberal policies is as dramatic as it is misleading. Consider this: while we’re working to reduce our household debt to GDP ratio, we do so in a country where healthcare bankruptcy is virtually unheard of, where higher education remains more accessible, and where cultural diversity is celebrated openly in contrast to some of the divisive rhetoric swelling in other parts of the world, including, at times, your own backyard. And we still have gun control while gun violence is the leading cause of death in the US.

Ah, Bill, while you spin a yarn about the “woke” north pushing the U.S. electorate to embrace the likes of Trump, it’s tempting to sit back with a bag of ketchup chips and watch this theory unfold. However, to pin the rise of Trumpism on Canadian liberalism is like blaming Canadian winters for New York’s snowstorms—convenient, but hardly accurate.

The U.S. political circus has its unique flavour of entertainment. It’s an arena where money talks louder than a hockey siren and misinformation spreads faster than a wildfire in a dry forest (QAnon anyone?). To suggest that the sight of Canadian healthcare or our love for poutine and polite discourse somehow pushes American voters into the arms of far-right candidates is a stretch worthy of an Olympic gymnast – albeit as long as said gymnast is not wearing Kayla Lemieux’s gynormous fake tits.

Indeed, the American political landscape is peppered with its own special blend of spices, where big bucks can buy you a front-row seat and a megaphone. In Canada, while we are far from perfect, our election cycles are less like blockbuster trilogies and more like low-budget documentaries—less drama, more substance. Or at least, they used to be.

So, while America can certainly be a cautionary tale for many things—say, the perils of letting billionaires play in the political sandbox without adult supervision—blaming Canada for your political woes is like blaming beavers for the Hoover Dam. It’s a charming thought, Bill, but maybe it’s time to look a little closer to home for those answers. After all, each country has its own political playbook, and I’m not sure ours includes chapters on influencing U.S. elections—too busy with our own and making sure Canada’s mini Trump, doesn’t get in.

Bill, I get it. The temptation to spin a tale that stirs the pot and gets everyone clapping is just too good to pass up, isn’t it? But if we’re really keen on learning from each other, as you so nobly suggest by pointing to international models, let’s not cherry-pick facts that just make for a zingy one-liner. Effective comedy but let’s not forget that real policy-making thrives on getting the full picture. In the eyes of some Bill – you’re practically Einstein. So, you’ve got a duty to wield that perceived brilliance responsibly, don’t you think?

And there is only one problem about thinking everything is better in America. It’s not. It never was.