Memoir – May 2025
A memoir is any ‘nonfiction narrative writing based on the author’s personal memories.’ Unlike auto-biography, which captures the span of an entire lifetime, a memoir captures a moment in time based on a person’s recollections of significant life events. In many ways memoir is easier to write than biography as it does not have to follow any specific order. It can simply be a series of personal stories strung together.
As many of us reach an age where we have many stories, most of them never shared or certainly recorded, it may actually be time to put pen to paper. I have regretted for many years that I did not harvest stories from my parents before they passed away, leaving me wondering about the significant events in their lives not to mention stories of their parents, my grandparents.
Years ago, I heard Canadian author Donna Morrissey share this in an interview, “My grandfather always said that a life untold was a life unlived”. This quote has lingered with me for many years, reminding me that when we fail to share our stories, either orally or in writing, it is as if we did not exist. This leaves me feeling that history, especially family history, is being lost.
I fear that the advent of social media and the immediacy of communication steals even more from our ability to share. How often do we sit with friends and share our stories? How many of us take the time to record our memories?
This is why memoir is so important, recordings of the lives we have lived, both for others to consume and, perhaps most importantly, for us to remember the events and accomplishments of our lives; an savour, ponder and digest, and to harvest the lessons of a life lived.
To that end, with your indulgence, I am sharing a Memoir Moment in this month’s column with the hope that it stirs up memories of your own and perhaps, the will to put pen in hand or fingers to keys to record some of your own memories.
Alberta Days
It is a Saturday in late August 1980 and as usual, I am scanning the Careers Section of the Edmonton Journal. This had become a weekly ritual as I searched for possibilities, a new direction for my healthcare career to take. An ad catches my attention: MS Society of Canada, Alberta Division seeks, Patient Services Coordinator to work with health care professionals and individuals with MS across the province of Alberta. While the ad stipulated that they wanted a Registered Nurse for the position, I knew this had my name on it. As a Physiotherapist who had worked with MS and who had family members with the condition, I felt qualified.
This was the beginning of a new career trajectory, moving from hospital-based care to community care and an opportunity to stretch both personally and professionally. The position required me to travel to all corners of the province, meeting with healthcare professionals as an educator, with local MS Chapters as a support and with clients/families living with MS as counsellor.
Until you begin to travel the province, you really have no idea how large an area it covers and how very remote many of the small towns and ranches are. Of the many positions I have held, I have to say that this was the one that left an indelible imprint on me. The commitment of the homecare nurses and other professionals was stunning. They covered territories so large that many of their patients were seen only once per month. More importantly it was the resilience, creativity, and courage of the MS Clients and their family members that most inspired me.
Ossie:
Ossie was larger than life, towering above most of his peers and of strong Ukrainian stock. Handsome and intimidating – this was my immediate impression when I first met him, until he smiled and his face crackled with mischief. “When are you coming to the ranch to visit me” he asked the first time we met in Edmonton. It was both an invitation and a challenge. “Soon”, I replied. “Get ready to gear up then because when you get there, I am taking you riding. Then we can talk.”
From that day forward I travelled with two sets of clothes, professional suits and jeans and boots. He was serious. When I arrived at his ranch outside Grimshaw, northwest of Edmonton in Peace River country, I was presented with a horse already saddled for our ride. At that point Ossie’s MS had progressed to the point where his walking was encumbered. Riding, however, was not an issue and put us on equal footing. It was his way to communicate honestly and frankly with me.
Norman:
The instructions I was given to find Norman and Jean’s farm near Viking Alberta (central near the Saskatchewan border) was go two sections north, three sections east and so on. If you are not familiar with Alberta, it is a grid. A section is 640 acres. It took three hours out of Red Deer, down country roads more suited to tractors than cars, to reach their property.
What can I say about Norman. This amazing man, a retired farmer, had been looking after his bedridden wife for years. When I arrived, he was so grateful that someone from the MS Society was there to see HIM and meet his wife. I went to the bedroom where Jean spent her days. She was obviously well cared for even though she was, at this point, completely paralyzed by her condition. She was only able to communicate with her eyes.
“How do you manage her care?”, I asked.
With great pride Norman showed me a track on the ceiling which he had developed and installed, stretching from over the centre of her bed, around the bed and into the bathroom. A large burlap sling, once used in the barn with his horses and cows, attached to a hoist and tackle system, enabled him to lift her from the bed and take her to the bathroom for showers and personal care. Her skin was in pristine condition. As he showed me his system, he did so with such pride and love I found myself holding back tears.
As I left several hours later, he filled my trunk with home preserves and jam. Even as I write these words 40 years later, I am awestruck by this man’s inventiveness, courage and extraordinary love for his wife.
Wanda:
On my way south just off Highway 2 between Calgary and Coaldale, I would pull into Wanda’s place. A member and organizer of the Lethbridge Chapter, I came to value her leadership. Plus, she always welcomed me, no appointment necessary. Wanda had an outstanding sense of humour. Her MS had pretty much upset her balance and was unpredictable in nature. Some days she was steady, other days she walked with a lilt to one side and an unwanted bounce in her step. None of these issues deterred he however and she went about her usual errands as her energy permitted. She loved to share stories regarding the funny things that happened to her as the result of her MS, including the one where she fell ‘ass over teakettle’ into the freezer at the grocery store. She was reaching for a package at the back of a standing freezer and in she went, as she said, ‘em-bare-assing’ herself completely. There were many more of these stories, again making light of an illness which is challenging to live with.
This memoir could continue as these represent only three of the many special folks I encountered during my time with the MS Society. It was such a privilege to work with them, to learn from them, to witness their courage and resilience. They were ordinary people living with the consequences of a devastating illness in a time where little treatment was available. They were humble, down to earth, kind and open hearted, welcoming…. all the things I aspire to be.
Final Word
This may be the beginning of my memoir. Honestly it is fun to walk down memory lane and consider the people and events that crossed my path and changed my life. This is my invitation to you to begin recording your stories. Start with one memory. Write down a few facts or feelings. Consider the other players. Put meat on the bones. And there you have it. See you in the writer’s corner!
Until next time,
Betty Healey
