November is the month dedicated to men’s mental health, with November 19th being International Men’s Day. Each of us can contribute to keeping our men healthy (and alive and with us) by taking notice when we are down and not quite ourselves. We hear a lot about Movember and The Ride for Dad, great initiatives that are bringing awareness to men’s health care issues, but we lag far behind in relation to mental well-being.
Talk about cancer, heart disease and other physical health care issues are common these days, but we don’t talk much about mental health for men.
Men as a rule don’t talk about their mental health struggles i.e., how we are feeling sad, what is bugging us … how we are maybe feeling desperate, or desperately alone. We keep it bottled up inside, letting it fester, sometimes until we cannot hide it any longer. This is true for all sorts of scenarios.
When you ask how we are, and we answer “Fine “or “Okay”, if you are concerned, maybe ask again, probe a little more, because all too often we are not fine, we are not okay. We really need a place to talk, to feel seen, and to be listened to. Sometimes we might feel that we are only the provider, the meal ticket, underappreciated for all the other things we might be doing.
You don’t have to go overboard, but for us, like for everyone else, it is so nice to hear that we matter … everyday. Older men, and still unfortunately with this younger generation, have a problem showing they are in trouble because it is still seen as a weakness, so we bottle it up until we can’t contain any more pressure, and then we blow.
In Canada, on average, men will suicide at a rate of three to one compared to women … 75% of all suicides are men. Think about that. How many more deaths are not confirmed? We must try harder to make things right, so that men can reach out for help. Statistic shows that only one man in three is courageous enough to seek out the help they need. Men between the ages of 40 to 59 years are at the highest risk for suicide. That has to change, and it is up to us to change that.
This November, the focus of our 3rd annual Men’s Summit will be on education about suicide risk, prevention, and intervention to thwart suicide. We have been talking about mental health here. Instead of merely talking, we want to equip people with tools to prevent someone from suiciding, and to prevent the suffering of families who feel the enormous pain of losing a loved one to suicide, for every suicide affects, on average, twenty people in their circle, and can sometimes lead one of those others to suicide. As Robin Williams said “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
To help make our area suicide safe, information about the upcoming event will be posted on the CMHA Champlain East website, so keep your eyes open for those (literally) life-saving details!
Stephen Douris
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