A dingy room and surrounded by family, her son holding her hand,it was time for her to let go, to relinquish the fight. Long and hard it had been, but now she was being called away, called back to her past. One last breath with eyes wide opened, she then closed them for the very last time, and left. It was hard for everyone, yet a part of life. Someone once said we start dying the day we are born. Death is never easy. We won’t stop it. We must take the time to accept that fact, that we are left with the memories.
Yet the long goodbye is ever so much harder. To see a friend still there in body, but no longer there in spirit, when the mind gives out but the body remains.
In my mind, it is the cruelest way to die. He started forgetting that you called him, forgetting his keys, losing the everyday memories that were once so important. Little things, but huge things. The mind started playing games with him; one day he remembers everything, the next day nothing is familiar, not even the ones he loves the most. Time moves forward, but for him it has stood still, the same, day after day but remembering less and less, slowly saying goodbye and not knowing who he is saying goodbye to.
Often when this is happening, people will back away and not go to visit them anymore. They find it too hard not to be recognized, though they might say “Why bother? It is a waste of time. They don’t know me.” This is not the point. You know them and as long as you know them, they still exist.
It is not about you; it is about them! This is the long goodbye. Sooner rather than later, they too will be letting go for the final time, but you will know that you were there, you will know you cared, and you are now the keeper of these memories for them.
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