Grant Spills the Gravy – Chi’s Spring Rolls

I woke up on Sunday and immediately knew it was my wife’s favorite weekend. May 24th marks a long weekend, and during this time, she takes me to all her beloved garden centers, where she spends a considerable amount of money on flowers, dirt, flower pots, and more dirt. She has an immense passion for all things that grow. Snickering to myself, I must admit that my wife in booty shorts is simply nature’s Viagra. Sweet Jebus, I love Spring.

After spending around 300 bucks on flowers at Canadian Tire, I declared, “I need food.” We decided to try Chi’s Spring Rolls, as we had heard many good things about it. Still reeling from the shock of the expense, we pulled into the self-serve car wash and noticed a tiny food truck on Brookdale. The gentleman behind the window was incredibly friendly and asked for our order. We ended up ordering almost everything on the menu to give it a try.

We ordered the chicken stir fry, the chicken fried rice, one bowl of wonton soup, two egg rolls, and two spring rolls. The total came to 34 dollars, and we left a 5 dollar tip. As we drove home, my wife kept telling me how amazing the food smelled while it sat on her lap. Once we arrived, I eagerly delved into the wonton soup, which was the whole reason we went there. I’ve had wonton soup all over Canada, and this was, by far, the best I’ve ever had. The spring rolls were perfectly cooked, the rice was authentic with real scrambled egg bits throughout, the stir-fry noodles were second to none, and according to my wife, the egg rolls were the best she’s ever had (although I’m not a fan of egg rolls). It was worth every penny! We even ate the leftovers with our supper that same night.

This place reminds me of the time I lived in London, Ontario. In the early 2000s, there were gyro shops on every corner, and when you left the bar, there was always a guy with a hot dog stand preparing the most delicious sausages ever. It always seemed sketchy until you took a bite, and then you would be like, “No. This is the best sausage place ever!!” Sure, we were drunk, but hotdogs at 2am are a form of ambrosia. This was the first time I had ever ordered Chinese food from a food truck. It may seem sketchy, but you have to try it!

As our feast came to an end, my wife and I eyed the last spring roll. The whistle from every Spaghetti Western slowly reverberated around us as we looked at the spring roll and then at each other while a tumbleweed rolled by in our back yard. A bead of sweat slowly descended down my forehead. I really wanted it, but I also really wanted to have sex again. She won the stand off and greedily ate the last spring roll. That sacrifice would pay off later that night.

I give Chi’s Spring Rolls a perfect 10 out of 10. The wonton soup has me hooked, the service was exceptional, and they have gained a recurring customer. Honestly, it was top-notch authentic Canadian Chinese food, and the fact that it came from a food truck is even more impressive.

I give 1000 out of 1000 to my wife for making me dig holes all day so she could plant all the pretty flowers whose names I can’t pronounce. What’s that, Shell? It’s called a Cuckhold herb? Its Latin name is Biden Connata? Why does it feel like men get to name these things? And that one’s called a Shagbark tree? I give up…