Unlike women, most men don’t talk, at least not about their human selves, their feelings or their fears. Some talk about how great they are, how important they think they are, but never what is scaring the heck out of them. Men tend to keep that locked inside, afraid to say “Hey man, I need to talk” or “I have a problem.” “Fearing what?” you may ask?
They are petrified of looking weak, terrified that people will abandon them when they really need help the most. Why?
Because we are not as strong as we often let on.
We are especially worried about those close to us who might look down on us instead of looking up to us as ‘men are supposed to be looked up to’ or worse, being told to “Be a man. Get over it and move on. Man up!” What men really need to know is that there is someone there for them, to be told “I am here, you can talk to me. I will listen and I’ve got your back.”
Maybe at that point, we can start to realize that we are not just needed as a provider or a drinking buddy, that we are truly wanted, that we are someone who matters, that we are not alone, and then, as people who care and are cared for, we can show others who suffer that they matter also.
Looking closely, you can see men who are suffering in silence, and dying in silence, but given a voice, you have given them hope … to be listened to is to be heard.
In Canada alone, ten men a day die by suicide, a father, a son, a brother or a best friend. If we ‘stop, look and listen’ as the old saying goes, we can often notice the subtle cries for help, and heed them before that cry is silenced forever.
September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day.
Acknowledging it, and taking part in events that are happening means making where we live a Suicide Safer Community. Learn how to help save lives, men’s lives … all lives matter.
Stephen Douris
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